


Coffee | Jean x Reader

by Amizore



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: All Jean wanted was a pay raise, Bertholdt owns the #1 ice cream monopoly, Erwin is a stalker, F/M, It never does, burning Sasha's potatoes, but NOOOOO, kind of, things never go right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24364411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amizore/pseuds/Amizore
Summary: All he wanted was a pay raise.
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 62





	Coffee | Jean x Reader

"So how about it, Jeannie-Boy?" 

Why. Why. Why. Why was this always happening to him? Jean handed the container of black coffee to his deranged customer, smiled his most welcoming smile that he had spent hours practicing in the mirror. It was hard to adjust that snarky smirk of his into a polite and practiced beam of sunshine. Maybe he overdid it - attracting a plethora of unwanted attention wasn't what he wanted. All he wanted was a raise, not deranged fangirls.

"T-thanks for your hospitality, ma'am." He struggled to keep annoyance at bay. Jean gritted his teeth. "But I would rather not." Seeing you here every single day is enough torture already, you old bat. 

"C'mon, sweet cheeks!" The middle aged woman protested. She inched closer to him, and Jean tried not to gag at the smell of cigarettes and nauseating perfume in his proximity. "I can show you my garden of Eden~ The forbidden fruit there is the sweetest..." She purred. Jean could feel the vomit building up in his chest. He swallowed it down. If he barfed on one more customer, his possible raise was out the window. Boss Erwin would surely fire him. 

Someone, please save me. A graceless snort came from behind him, followed by light rasping. Connie and Sasha had been trying their hardest to repress their laughter. His pride fading away, his face an ignominious red. Jean clenched his fists, glared at the flirtatious lunatic plaguing his sight. The friendly façade he held fell, shattering to the ground. 

"Ma'am, you are inveterately delusional. This is highly inappropriate and I would like you to please unhand me from your venomous claws and leave." Jean spat, slapping the woman's arm away. 

The café fell quiet in that instance. Staff and customers alike were staring at him, wide eyed from shock and from amusement. Even Boss Erwin, who had been monitoring the situation from the comfort of his office sat transfixed in front of the CCTV, delighted. 

Shit. He had once again lost his composure, but all it mattered was it was effective. The old bat staggered backwards, clutching her coffee cup to her breast. "Playing hard to get are we? We'll see about that, sexy." With a final huff, the woman pompously strode out the door, and out of Jean's life. For now. Jean released a sigh of relief, until a loud slap on his back had him jumping in surprise. Connie grinned at him deviously whilst Sasha feigned googly eyes. The two of them howled in joy, clutching their stomachs and mocking Jean. 

"Come to my forbidden garden, sweet cheeks!" Connie imitated, giving Jean a salacious wink.   
"I will be the one to tame you, you sexy, wild horse!" Sasha sang, as tears welled up in her eyes. 

Jean flushed a violet shade of red, tried to hold back a punch or ten. "If you don't shut up, I will knock out all your teeth and burn all your potatoes." 

"What a violet, naughty horse!" 

Once Jean's shift was over, Connie would be as good as dead. At least Sasha was silent now, too busy worrying about her crate of potatoes lounging her car. It had happened once, and she could not risk endangering her potatoes again. Jean collected himself, reminding himself of that pay raise Erwin had promised. No matter what, he had to get through this week. Ding ding. The door of the shop chimed, and Jean immediately morphed back into being everyone's friendly neighborhood barista. 

"Welcome to Sawney n' Beans!" The trio chimed, bowing to greet their customer. Light footfalls made their way to the counter, and Jean made eye contact with the girl. She wore a plaid blue dress, hair tied up into two neat plaits. 

Jean unwittingly flashed her a cheeky grin. "Yo, miss! What can I get you for today?" Shoot, why was he suddenly being so informal?   
"The Colossal Milk Tea, please. 75% sweetness." Her voice was gentle. Kind. He liked that.   
"Of course. May I have your name, miss?"  
"It's [Y/N]." 

Jean smiled at the girl, and went off to prepare the drink. [Y/N] had good taste. The Colossal Milk Tea was a mango-flavored drink decorated with fruit jelly cubes and a dash of red bean ice cream from the infamous Bertholdt brand. He added the ingredients, put the drink in the blender, capped on the lid. Jean grabbed the nearest sharpie marker and wrote the letters into the name box. He handed her the drink, brandishing his most charming smile. 

"Here you go, miss!"   
"Thank you." 

As she walked towards the exit of Sawney n' Beans, [Y/N] glanced down at her cup. The words, "You're beautiful" was written in the place of her name. With a raised eyebrow, she looked back at the counter, and their eyes met. Jean flushed a light tinge of pink, smiling sheepishly. [Y/N] sighed. This guy was hopeless. Compliments were stupid. This dude was stupid. She marched towards him, flinging the cup back into his shaky hands. [Y/N] sent him a dangerous glare. Jean gulped. 

"Did you forget to write something?" [Y/N] asked, her eyes never leaving him.   
"Err...I-"   
"Your number." She demanded. "You didn't write your number."   
Jean blushed even harder.   
"Well?"   
He reached for the marker again, hastily scrawling down his number. "H-here." 

[Y/N] nods in satisfaction, picked up her drink, and walked to the exit again. "Be seein' you." 

The door slammed shut behind her. 

There stood Jean, paralyzed and red at the sudden exchange. Hoped that she didn't mistake the number seven for a one. Behind him, Connie felt a pang of jealousy and Sasha suddenly wanted a hearty cup of Colossal Milk Tea.

**Author's Note:**

> I should have turned this into crack /shifty


End file.
